1. Be a Student of What They are Learning
In the dog-eat-dog world of middle school and high
school, survival of the fittest often seems like the law of the land. And when
we’re on the bottom of the food chain, this idea of a pecking order can start
to affect the way we understand God—and maybe even the way we believe God sees
us. But what if we were able to reverse this idea? What if something in
Scripture allowed us to turn survival of the fittest on its head? Maybe we can
start to flip the idea of “only the strong survive” and live in the reality
that God has a bigger purpose and a better picture in mind—and this purpose and
picture involves all of us—the strong, the weak, the in, the out, those you
would expect, and those you wouldn't. Maybe in an effort to reverse Darwin, we
need to start by understanding who God created us to be and how to live like it
matters.
Session 1: Survive (Oct. 24th)
Weak.
Powerless. Abandoned. Overlooked. We’ve all felt this way at one time or
another. And when we feel like the world doesn’t see us and we are less than
fit to make it, we start to believe that only the strong survive. But God
doesn’t work that way. Because God sees the hurt, the neglect and the times
that we have been ignored and taken advantage of. God sees past the labels we
give ourselves—and others. And because God sees, we are no longer powerless.
Because God sees, God will act on our behalf.
Session 2: Classify (Nov. 7th)
We’ve
said that God sees and cares for the weak. But if this is true, doesn’t it mean
that God favors the weak over the strong? It’s easy to set up oppositions; it’s
easy to take sides. Especially when we are the ones who feel weak. We want God
to be against the strong—against those who are hurting us. But in Jesus, we see
the picture of a God who can see the weak and love the strong at the same time.
Jesus is The Great Equalizer. And because of this, we can live beyond the “us
versus them” mentality and start to see everyone we come in contact with as
God’s favorite.
Session 3: Adapt (Nov. 14th)
Everyday
our students are making choices. Choices about what to wear, what to say, where
to go and how to act. And these choices often reflect the herd mentality that
says they have to be, say and do the same as everyone else in order to survive.
In other words, they have to adapt. And while this may feel like the best way
to make it through middle school and high school, ultimately it isn’t. Because
when we learn who God made us to be—nothing more and nothing less—we allow
people to get a glimpse of who we really are. And, ultimately, who God is as
well.
2. Be a Student of Your Student
Take a moment to
think back—way, way back—to those first days of middle school. Or to the
moments and memories that still define your high school experience. Or, get
really bold and break out an old yearbook and see what you find. Feathered
bangs? Side ponytails? Maybe even a mullet? Or, maybe seeing those old pictures
brings back memories of who you thought you would one day be and all the
adventures you hoped to have. Maybe you envisioned getting out of your small
town and attending college in a bustling urban center, or studying abroad and
soaking in the European culture. But even if those hopes and dreams didn’t pan
out, they probably helped you dig deeper to define who you were, sometimes by
simply figuring out who you were are not.
And for many of
us, this process is still an ongoing part of our lives. It may even be that we
were more sure of who we were at 18 than we are now that we have children, a
job, a mortgage and a “life.” But why is it that we are still working so hard
at figuring this out? Sometimes it seems that in our now grown-up lives we are
working harder to convince other people of
who we are. Whether on our Facebook profiles (yep, our students aren’t the only
ones) or through conversations with friends, family and even other parents we
are often caught up in a PR battle … with ourselves. We try to define ourselves
by the way we represent ourselves to the world and in the process, we end up
forgetting who we really are. Throw in 24/7 parenting duties, work tasks, daily
household management, church and family life and any other threads of schedules
and responsibilities and we get lost in the mix altogether!
And, as you may
have noticed, we usually realize the weight of figuring out who we are in times
of crisis or great change. Often, we find that
somewhere along the line we have “activating events” that trigger us to shatter
the image of who we think we are and dig deep again to find our true selves, to
rediscover who we truly are.
And for our students,
these activating events happen on a daily or maybe even hourly basis. They
don’t make the team. They fail a test. They get dropped by a group of friends
that were once their whole world. And like us, when this happens to our
students, they get to pause, reflect, pick up the pieces and walk away in their
new—or maybe just dusted off—identity.
3. Action Point
Sit down with
your teenager and talk about a time when something happened to you that
redefined who you are. Maybe it was a divorce, or even some defining moment
that occurred before they were ever born. Whatever it is, talk about how it
changed you and led you to better understand yourself.
Then, ask them if
anything has happened this week that has caused them to feel “less than.” What
was it? How did it make them feel? Did it make them want to change something
about themselves? Did it make them feel like they don’t really know who they
are or where they belong?
Now speak into
that place of vulnerability and insecurity. What do you see in your student
that is unique? What would be lost if they changed themselves in order to fit
in? Why does it matter that they strive to be just who God created them to be?
Be sure to carve
out some intentional time to sit down and wrestle through these questions with
your student. And remember, even if they don’t open up as much as you would
hope or like, the fact that you took the time and cared enough to ask will pay
huge dividends in the future. Because just knowing what they are going through
means the world to your student, even if they aren’t able to show it.