We believe to have a lasting impact and reach this next generation is to see the light of the church be combined with the heart of the family. We desire to continually grow as a ministry in our partnership with parents. There is great power in a parent who raises up a child spiritually, and we want you to know you don’t have to do it alone. The Parent Cue is one way to come alongside your teen in what they are learning.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Series: ALTER EGO (Oct. 8th - Oct. 22nd)

We’re Teaching This:
Everyone loves a superhero. Superman. Spiderman. Iron man. They swoop in and fight the bad guys, save the day, and somehow make their spandex suit look cool all at the same time. What would you do if you met one of these guys on the street? Pose for a selfie? Ask for an autograph? Probably none of the above. Chances are you wouldn’t you wouldn’t recognize Superman or Spiderman on the street.  Why? Because almost all superheroes have another side, their mild, unassuming, simply-not-as-awesome alter ego. Sure the public persona is amazing. But in their real, every-day life identity is rarely as impressive. In that way, we all have something in common with superheroes. There’s a public side of us. A super-identity that most of the world gets to see. We’re funny. We have friends. We’re confident. But deep in our hearts, we know there’s an alter ego—a less than super side that we’d rather hide away. As we take a closer look at three personality traits that often bury themselves in our alter egos, we find that God has something to say about each one that can free us from living a double-life.
Session 1 Summary: No Worries (10/8)
What do you worry about? Your looks? Reputation? Whether your parents will get you a Chihuahua for your birthday? Everybody worries. We stress about our family, school, future, friends, and about a million other things. Unfortunately, our worries don’t seem to accomplish much. Think about it. Have you ever stressed out about something so much it fixed itself? Probably not. But what’s the alternative? The Apostle Paul had plenty to worry about .He had been threatened, beaten, shipwrecked, and arrested, but he still found the courage to say, “Do not be anxious about anything.” As we take a closer look at Paul’s words, we find that God has given us an alternative. He has provided a way for us to give away our worries and replace them with peace.
Session 2 Summary: Bad To The Bone (10/15)
Have you ever been so embarrassed you wanted to run and hide? Probably so. Those moments sneak up on all of us. Maybe you dropped your lunch in front of everyone at school or maybe you tripped on the bleachers at a game. For a moment, it felt awful, but it was temporary. The problem is many of us live with that feeling all the time. It isn’t just because of a moment. It’s because of who we are. We feel like we’re not as smart, not as cool, or just not as good as those around us. That feeling is called shame, and just like embarrassment, shame makes us want to run away from everyone, including God. The question we have to ask is, What are going to do with our shame? Are we going to trust it? Hide behind it? ignore it? The writer of Hebrews tells us there is a better way. Because of what Jesus did, we aren’t required to give in to shame’s demands. And even when shame tells us to run and hide, Jesus tells us to run toward Him.
Session 3 Summary: All About Me (10/22)
Lots of things come naturally to us. Breathing. Eating. Sleeping till noon. And for most of us, selfishness is on that list. As little kids we learn to yell, me first and that’s mine. Even though it’s natural, living selfishly doesn’t improve the quality of life. In fact, it’s exhausting and lonely. Most of us would agree that focusing on ourselves is a miserable way to live, but we still act selfishly anyway. So how do we fight it? In a letter to some of the earliest Christians, the Apostle Paul addresses that very question, and what he says may surprise you. Spoiler alert—it’s not twenty-seven steps to being less selfish. No, Paul gives one challenge. One idea that can change the way you see everyone around you and help you escape the trap of selfishness once and for all. 

Think About This:
What personal traits do you hope that you’ll pass on to your teenager? Work ethic? Responsibility? A good attitude? We all have parts of our own personalities that we hope and pray will surface one day in our students. If we’re honest, we probably have a few traits that we’d rather not pass along as well. In her article, “Help for Stressed Out Families”, author Kara Powell explores one personality trait that we may accidentally pass on to our students without even realizing it.

According to the Stress in America study conducted by the American Psychological Association, no parent is an island.  Our own stress trickles, or in some cases, gushes, through our family.  Some of the most interesting (and may I say personally convicting) findings include:

               One-third of children surveyed between ages 8-17 believe their parent has been “always” or “often” worried or stressed out about things during the past month.
               Four in 10 children report feeling sad when their parent is stressed or worried.
               One-third of children (34 percent) say they know their parent is worried or stressed out when they yell. Other signs of parental stress perceived by children are arguing with other people in the house, complaining or telling children about their problems and being too busy or not having enough time to spend with them.
               Nearly a third of children surveyed between ages 8-17 reported that in the past month, they experienced physical health symptoms that are often associated with stress such as sleep problems, headaches, and an upset stomach.

As disconcerting as those findings are, something else bothers me more.  The study also found that parents are largely unaware of their kids’ stress levels.
http://stickyfaith.org/articles/help-for-stressed-out-families#sthash.j1R6lvfU.dpuf

When it comes to handling just about every area of life, students take their cue from how they have seen their parents react. That’s why stressed out parents can sometimes unintentionally raise stressed out students. In the same way, parents who struggle with anger, selfishness,
shame, or other difficulties can likely pass those traits on without meaning to. No parent is perfect. We all have quirks, tendencies, and habits that we wish we would go away.  So what can you do to ensure that your personal struggles don’t accidentally trickle down to your student?

Share the struggle. One way to help your student avoid certain habits is to be honest (in an age-appropriate way) about the habits or tendencies that you wish you could change. And, let your student know how you’re working on it. Say something like, “Hey, I know that when I’m stressed out from work, I sometimes snap at the people around me. I know that isn’t okay and I’m working on having better boundaries so that work stress doesn’t become home stress.” Or maybe try something like, “I know you saw me yell at the cashier last week in anger. I’m really embarrassed that my temper was out of control and it’s something I’m working on. I’m going apologize to her when we buy groceries this week.”

Try This
Think about an aspect of your personality that you’d rather not pass on to your student. It may be helpful to focus on one that most affects your teenager. Now consider writing them a two or three sentence apology and leaving it in a place where they will find it. Include how you are working on this area of your life. Try to incorporate the following points as you write your apology:

·         Pinpoint the struggle (anxiety, selfishness, anger, insecurity, stress, etc…)
·         Apologize for the way you have seen it affect your teenager and/or your family.

For example:
Dear ________. I’ve noticed I have a tendency to act like my time is more important than everyone else’s. I’ve been late too often to your game/recital/practice.  That is really selfish and I’m sorry for how it has affected you. Please know that I’m working on becoming a better manager of time by downloading a calendaring app on my phone and scheduling reminders to help me leave on time.


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