Series: FAMILY MATTERS (Nov. 11th - Dec. 9th)

Session 1 God’s Design | Genesis 2:18-24; Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (11/11/15)

Why did God create the family? The family is God’s unique environment for nurturing our development. When God created man, He did not want him to be alone. Family is a natural part of the order of God’s creation. Every family has the capability of having relationships within their family unit. God created the family unit to be close and enjoy intimate relationships. Not all families are perfect, but they are still family relationships. But God desires the family to help their children grow spiritually as individuals—and as a family unit. Parents are the primary spiritual developers of students.

Session 2 Planned for You | Romans 8:28; Genesis 37:1-11; 45:4-15 (11/18/15)

Why am I in this family? God is working out His purposes through your family circumstances. You may not understand why some things happen within your family, but God can and will take those things and use them for the good. God always has a plan in mind for you and your family. There is no such thing as a perfect family. Jacob’s family is one example of an imperfect family in the Bible. Every family has its own share of problems. Granted, there are some really difficult family situations in the world today. Problems within the family are opportunities for God to work. There is no problem within a family that God cannot fix and ultimately restore the family once again. Every family is different—with different circumstances and problems—but God has a great plan for each family.

Session 3 Your Responsibility | Ephesians 6:1-4; Exodus 20:12; Genesis 4:1-9 (12/2/15)
What are my responsibilities to my family? God calls you to honor and respect your family.  Children and teenagers alike are to obey and honor their parents—it is a command from God. Obedience pleases God and has blessings/rewards attached to it. Every family member has God-given responsibilities within the family. We are to show respect toward each other within the family. Respect can include: caring for; being responsible for; being committed to; and respecting their personhood. We are to be committed to each other in the family desiring the best for each other. Each family member should always be looking out for the other family members. The story of Cain and Able represents what can happen when we do not respect one another.

Session 4 Choices Matter | 1 Samuel 2:12,22-25,31-36; 2 Timothy 1:3-9 (12/9/15)

Your decisions have lasting impact. Every choice you make in life impacts not just you but your family as well. Family members must choose wisely keeping in mind their choices affect more than just themselves. Some choices we make carry negative consequences as well as punishment. The negative result of our choices can impact our family. The negative choices of Eli’s sons carried consequences for them and impacted their family. Some choices we make carry positive consequences and will allow us to reap rewards. The positive result of our choices can impact our family. Timothy’s spiritual heritage had a positive impact on his life—and the lives of others. Bottom line is that while we are free to make choices, we must keep in mind the affect it will have on us and on our family

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Parenting Teens is a monthly magazine designed to provide relevant information, practical ideas, and biblical encouragement to parents of teenagers. Go to www.lifeway.com/parentingteens.

Series: THE NEW YOU (Oct. 14th - Nov. 4th)

If we are honest, when it comes to defining holiness, we all struggle. Is it something that we can measure in our lives and if so how do we know when we have arrived? This study will help students learn and understand just what holiness is—what it means to be set apart. This study will also help students by giving them tools to help recognize what holiness is so that they can begin to live it out in their daily lives. This unit of study will help students to understand that while God is the only one who is truly holy, we are to pursue holiness with everything we have in our relationship with Him. How much would you say your teenager understands about holiness? Is it something they should begin to pursue even as a teenager? Why or why not? What makes a person holy?

Session 1: Holiness Defined | Deuteronomy 32:3-4; 1 Samuel 2:2; Revelation 4:8-11 (10/14/15)

What does it mean to be holy? We must understand that holiness can only be found in the character of God. Holiness means to be separated or set apart. Holiness is God’s outstanding character. He is set apart in majesty and glory. He is uniquely set apart. We must learn to recognize and acknowledge the majesty and glory of God in order to help us define holiness. It is important to understand that no person or thing compares to God. He is undeniably a cut above everything else. God always acts and speaks out of His holy character.

Session 2: Holiness Recognized | Isaiah 6:1-8 (10/21/15)

Recognizing God’s holiness begins with me recognizing your own sinfulness. Isaiah had a unique encounter with God in His holiness. When we hold God as the standard for holiness, it is then that we see ourselves as sinners in need of God. When I recognize my own sinfulness, I need to respond by confessing my sin. Confession simply means that I am agreeing with God that I have not lived up to His standards. I have blown it. I own up to my sin; I take personal responsibility. When we recognize our sinfulness, it is then and there that we need to deal with it and confess it before God. We cannot store it up until the next time we go to church. When I confess my sin to God, I am surrendering to God’s call on my life. Surrendering means that I am willing to make the necessary changes in my life so I am more of a reflection of God’s holy character.

Session 3: Holiness Provided | Isaiah 64:6; 1 Peter 1:13-21 (10/28/15)

We cannot use our goodness as a standard for how holy we are. No matter how good we think we are, we will always fall short of God’s standard. The only person we should be comparing our holiness to is God. It is not good deeds, how many times we go to church, or how many passages of Scripture we memorize that makes us holy. It is Christ, and Him alone, who makes us holy. Why should we be holy? Because we are called to be holy. As believers in Christ, pursuing holiness is not an option.

Session 4: Holiness Pursued | Ephesians 4:17–5:5 (11/4/15)

Pursuing holiness requires me to do away with the old self. We cannot simply put a new self on over the old one. The old self and its ways must be done away with. As we take off the old self, we must begin the process of putting on the new self. The new self should reflect and imitate God’s character and His ways. There is a difference between the old nature and the new nature. When a believer comes to Christ there should be a noticeable difference to others in their character as well as in their behavior and actions. Pursuing holiness requires that we live it out on a daily basis, not just when we feel like it

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Parenting Teens is a monthly magazine designed to provide relevant information, practical ideas, and biblical encouragement to parents of teenagers. Go to www.lifeway.com/parentingteens.

Series: THE CHOICE IS YOURS (Sept. 16th - Oct. 7th)

Peer pressure on students is greater today than it has ever been. Teenagers will tell you that peer pressure is felt in every area of life. This study will help students identify that we make the choice to let others influence and pressure us. This study will also help students identify good pressure from negative pressure and provide tools to help them stand strong in the face of pressure. This study will help them to realize that they are the ones who should be influencing the crowd because of whose they are in Christ.

Going Along with the Crowd | Galatians 2:11-14 (9/16/15)

What’s the harm in a little peer pressure? Peer pressure can definitely lead you down the wrong road. Usually, letting others influence often comes down to a form of fear. Fear of being embarrassed, laughed at, rejected etc… Many teens say they feel pressured to look and act a certain way. We give in and allow others to influence our behaviors in because we don’t want to be rejected. Acceptance is the one thing students want. That is why we take a look at Peter in this lesson. He changed his behavior in order not to offend the legalistic Judaizers. By doing this, he compromised the message of grace Jesus called him to share. The truth is we are going to be rejected by someone or something at some point in our lives. When we give in to peer pressure, it leads others to do the same. We will help students see that as Christians they are called to influence the world, not reflect it.

Evaluating the Crowd | Proverbs 1:8-16; 13:20; Galatians 5:7-8 (9/23/15)

How can I recognize good peer pressure? Good peer pressure helps you become a better person.
The friends you choose to hang around with are going to help you. It will either be in a negative way or a positive way. Many teens feel pressure to drink or use drugs. We must learn to identify the right kind of friends to choose so as to be influenced in a positive way. A positive friend will help you to think pure and right thoughts, will help you to do what’s right in any situation, and will help you to grow in your walk with Christ and encourage you spiritually. The wrong type of friends can get us into trouble.

Resisting the Crowd | Romans 12:1-2; Hebrews 11:24-26 (9/30/15)

How do I resist the pull of negative peer pressure? Stay focused on Christ. Many teens often feel lonely or left out. This makes it much easier to give in to negative peer pressure. Learning to resist negative peer pressure begins with a focus on Christ. Resisting peer pressure requires us to think of the long-term effects of our decisions today. Every decision we make today will have an effect on us in the future. Resisting peer pressure requires that I renew my mind on a daily basis. We must align my thoughts and motives with those of Christ.

Influencing the Crowd | 1 Timothy 4:12 (10/7/15)

Although many teens identify a friend as a role model, most teens say they see their parents as a positive role model and influence. Influencing the crowd begins with me making good choices in my life. We must recognize and understand that our words have the power to influence others. We may not think how we act influences others, but someone is always watching. Influencing others in a positive way really comes down to how we are walking with Christ on a daily basis. If we want others to follow in our footsteps, we must realize that everything we do has the potential to lead somebody to a close walk with Christ.

 

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Parenting Teens is a monthly magazine designed to provide relevant information, practical ideas, and biblical encouragement to parents of teenagers. Go to www.lifeway.com/parentingteens.

Series: HOMELAND (May 13th - May 27th)

We are teaching this: Heaven – What will it be like?

I have good news. Jesus has invited us to spend eternity with him in a place called Heaven. It’s actually the home where our heart longs to be, with God forever. Philippians 3:20 tells us that our citizenship is in Heaven yet we know very little about our homeland. The basis for the 3 talks in this series are the main questions that students ask any time they are deciding if they want to do something. They generally want to know: 1) What is it like there? 2) What are we going to do? Or, is it going to be fun? 3) Who is going to be there? At the end of the series, they will be able to speak more confidently about what Heaven is like and be more determined to share the Gospel with their friends and family.

Homeland Talk 1: Heaven is the home where our soul longs to be (5-13-15)

Heaven is our home and Christ has given us an invitation to go back home after our life is over. Any time I get invited to go somewhere that I have never been, the first question I ask is “what is it like?” I want details about what it looks like, what the vibe is like, what kind of cool stuff will be there. God understands our curiosity about Heaven and so He gave us some descriptions throughout Scripture of what it would be like. We don’t fully understand everything about Heaven and we won’t until we get there, but we definitely can learn some things from God’s Word and it sounds awesome in the truest sense of the word. First and foremost, Jesus is there, his presence fills heaven, and he is preparing a space for us to live there with him forever. That’s about as special as it gets but there is more. The city is made out of pure gold with walls made out of precious stones, a river with the water of life is flowing from the throne of God, a tree of life is growing there, and the whole place is going to lit up by the glory of our Lord God (Rev. 21:12-22:5). Not to mention that He will wipe every tear from our eyes and things like death, sorry, crying, and pain with be gone forever (Rev. 21:4). The blind will be able to look upon creation for the first time. It will be a place of endless joy in the presence of our savior for eternity.

Homeland Talk 2: Heaven will be the greatest adventure of our life (5-20-15)

Let’s be honest, the way we think about Heaven makes it sound really boring. Are we really going to just sit around on clouds wearing robes, playing harps, and singing songs forever? Can a place that is perfect and has no drama really be that interesting of a place to live? These types of ideas are what drive people to think that they might not want to spend eternity in Heaven. This type of thinking comes from incorrect information and incorrect thinking which causes you to believe that sin is fun and holiness is boring. Heaven is going to be awesome, in the truest sense of the word. We are going to do so much more in Heaven (especially on the New Earth) than just sit around. We will play, eat, draw, write, read, talk, laugh, explore the limits of our new bodies, and so much more. We will do this unaffected by the curse of sin while delighting in our Creator and He will delight in our worship of Him through the use and exploration of the gifts He equipped us with. No, Heaven will not be boring. Heaven will be a grand adventure full of jobs we enjoy, an eternity to go exploring, and all of it in the presence of God.

Homeland Talk 3: Big Idea: Our mission on earth is to direct people how to get to Heaven (5-27-15)

One of the most common questions we wonder about a place is what the people are like. Who is going to be there? How are they going to treat me? We are so curious about these things because relationships matter to us. In this final talk of the series we will explore these questions about who is in Heaven and how they got there. The discussion will take us to who we can expect to be reunited with and we may even explore the presence of animals in Heaven. We will review the importance of sharing the Gospel with everyone with the intention of showing them the only way to Heaven, by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. We know the way to Heaven and have been given the mission by Christ to take this information to the world around us so we can be in Heaven with as many people as possible. With this eternal perspective in mind, it will change how we live our lives here on earth.

Think about this:

This is our hope and the longing of our soul, to be home. With this better understanding of what your homeland, where your heart longs to be, is like you can sing songs more wholeheartedly, you can share with others what Heaven is like, and you can anticipate the days when your heart will finally be at home, with God in Heaven, forever. We have a great future ahead of us. This is not the final destination and it’s definitely not as good as it gets. God desires us to live with an eternal perspective as we live here on earth. He has a place that he wants us to go. Like a trip to Disneyland, we might not know exactly all that will happen when we are there but what we do know is that we will love all the things to do and we will love who we are with as we experience the greatest adventure of our lives. We are so eager to tell people about how awesome Oregon is or how awesome a place we visited was because we want them to experience it too. We don’t want them to miss out. We haven’t been to Heaven but we know who will be there and we have an idea of what we will do. Also, we know what they opposite end of this spectrum looks like too. So our challenge and our mission becomes to basically be walking advertisements for how great Heaven will be by loving people, telling people how much Jesus loves them, and telling them how amazing Heaven will be.

1.       Where do we get our ideas about what Heaven is like?

2.       How is the way Heaven was described tonight different than what you thought before?

3.       What is the difference between intermediate Heaven and New Earth?

4.       What questions do you have about Heaven?

5.       Given what we talked about tonight, what aspect of Heaven are you most looking forward to?

Series: THE WEIGHT OF GLORY (April 15th - May 6th)

We are teaching this: Glory-Feel the Weight

The goal of this series is that we would wake up to the reality of God’s relentless passion for His own glory; that the more we realize what life is really all about, His Glory, the more we are able to live it. We also believe the more we see God for who He is, the more we trust Him and live out what we are meant to be. Our prayer is that our awe of Christ would increase or be restored to be passionate active worshipers. As Isaiah 26:9 says “Your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.”

Glory 1: The Weight of His Name. (Because Jesus is God period!) (4-15-15)
We all desire to make a name for ourselves, and believe being the center of our lives and even other’s is a good thing. We make much of our lives, even our relationship with God about us. The truth is God wants us to wake up to the reality that the story is about Him and His glory. We will answer the question what is glory? We will look to Romans 11:33-35 to help us grasp the scope, size, depth, and weight of God. We will learn that we exist, and everything exists, to bring God glory. We will also see that God’s primary agenda is His glory and that His self-centeredness is a good thing. We will wrestles with the invitation to trust Christ as the center and move out of the way. That life happens when we move out of the way. Finally we will be left with the question, what should God’s response be to the hijacking of His glory?

Glory 2: The Weight of Eternity. (Glory Thievery Response 1) (4-22-15)

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do, the necessary thing to do, is give someone truthfully bad news. See it’s easy to talk about the kindness of God, but for awe, respect, worship sake we must also talk about His wrath. In this Bible study we will look at the reality of hell and what it is. Instead of asking how could a good God create hell and send people there, we will ask how could He not? We will see that the horrors of hell are an echo of the infinite worth of the glory of God. We will also see that this first response is insufficient to bring God praise and that no one is scared into heaven. But if you don’t know the weight of your disobedience, and the weight of His just deserved wrath, how will know the weight and riches of His mercy to give Him proper glory? My prayer is that they would begin to grasp the weight of eternity and long for God, delighting in His mercy.

Glory 3: The Weight of Mercy and Grace. (Glory Thievery Response 2) (4-29-15)

If it’s true that God is for His glory, and the apex of His glory is His grace, and God will get His glory, then shouldn’t we be able to put our full trust in His grace? We will look at Philippians 2:5-11 and how unthinkable this response to stealing His glory is. We will look at how the cost of His mercy says more about Him then it does us.  By looking at Ephesians 1-2, we will see how Jesus getting all the glory for something we don’t deserve and could never do is not only deserved but the best thing ever for us. Our prayer is we would stop working to please God but trust humbly the grace of God. Trust also what He says about us because of His grace. That we would be released from shame and live in the freedom of God’s glorious grace. It’s living in the light of His grace that we are most satisfied in Him and He is most glorified, thus fulfilling what we are most meant to do.    

Glory 4: The Weight of Really Living. (For the Fame of His Name) (5-6-15)

One of my favorite quotes is “Everyman dies but everyman does not truly live” ~William Wallace. This asks the question what does it mean to really live? To answer this we are going to look at Colossians 3:17 in that whatever we do we are to do it to reflect God’s greatness back to Him and to all people. That we get to declare the praise of Him who has called us out of darkness (1Peter 2:9). That we are worshipers, and this is a way of life. We will explore this by moving from the doxology of Romans 11(talk 1) to Romans 12:1-2. We get to be the soundtrack to the greatest story ever, the story of God’s glory. Our prayer is we would be excited to be a megaphone to Jesus, bold and unashamed. That we would be seeking God’s tuning to be like Jesus for no one gave God glory better than Him. That we would live in the hope of the prayer from Ephesians 3:16-21, all glory to God.

Think about this:

As you might know we are all wired to worship. We are all worshiping all the time and something. This is our design. We are meant to worship; the question is what is that something you are worshiping right now? Our kids and us have a lot competing for that central place in our lives. We also live in a culture where performance is a high value and receiving credit and recognition is a must. Add to this a constant barrage of messages about independence and self-reliance and it easy to fall into trap that life is best when it revolves around me. All through the Bible we see the disaster of putting ourselves, the created, over the Creator. All through the Bible we also see that we and everything is created for God’s glory. This is our purpose and life works best when we do what we are meant for. Living to reflect God and worshiping Him in everything we do is real living. To help explore this truth with your teen here are some question to discuss around the dinner table: (As part of the discussion don’t forget to answer the questions yourself, sharing your personal relationship with the Lord is helpful)

1. Glory is connected with the concept of weight and worth, what are the things carrying a lot of weight in your life right now? What is your world revolving around? What matters most?

2. Read the Doxology in Romans 11:33-36 together. From this passage how would you describe God in your own words? How does this view of God impact your trust in Him?

3. When it comes to deserving credit there is nothing more giving God recognition than His grace. Grace is all about what we don’t deserve and what we can’t earn. How do feel about His grace? How might your trust in His grace point others to God?

4. Everything is about His story for His glory and He is inviting us to play a role in His story. We are not the star or an essential part but we get to be in the story. How do you feel about this invitation? Why is accepting this a struggle? If it’s all about His glory how might this effect the way you make plans, go to school, work, live? (Colossians 3:17)

Series: WHO IS JESUS NOT? (March 11th - April 8th)

We are teaching this:

Our relationship with others is based on how well we know them. It can be quite upsetting to find out someone is not whom they seem to be. Trust is essential. In this next series we are going to be looking at who Jesus is by dealing with who He is not. There are a lot of misconceptions about Jesus and by examining the scriptures we can know the real Jesus and trust Him. I believe its God desire that we see Him for who He is. He is not worried we will reveal anything that will hurt our relationship with Him but in discovering who He really is we will see the significance of this life changing relationship and trust Him all the more. A pivotal moment in the life of Christ is when He asked the disciples “who do you say that I am?” and it’s a question we need to answer ourselves.

 Who is Jesus Not? Annoyed. (3/11/15)

Is Jesus too important, too busy, too bothered, and too annoyed to be near, to care, to listen and to be a friend? With some of the images of Christ out there is can be easy to think Jesus was so long ago, so stoic, so other than us He is un-relatable and wouldn’t want to be near us. Some of the greatest things about Christ is His deity, His supremacy, His sovereignty, and holiness, all while being compassionate, approachable and concerned. Could this be what makes Him the best friend of all? He is not my homeboy but He is my friend. 

Who is Jesus Not? Demanding Stiff. (3/18/15)

Is Jesus a boring, stiff necked, rule pusher? From an experience of religion it can seem like Jesus only cares about respect, performance, and a good lecture.  A significant truth about Jesus is He was fun to be around, encouraging, and cared more about your heart then your behavior.  He never said if you want to be a Christian you better start acting like it. When you hear the voice of Jesus do you hear a lot of “should” and “don’t” or “trust” and “love”? Sure Jesus was serious, serious about a relationship with us. He is not a system to conform to He is life to the full.

Who is Jesus Not? Finger Pointer.  (4/1/15)

Does all Jesus care about is sin and making sure we know how much of sinner we are? Did He come to condemn us and leave us to our own devices? Jesus is serious about sin but He did not come to point fingers, He came to show you how much you need Him and to be our hope in a hopeless situation. He didn’t come to shame us, He came to save us. Do you know you need saving? Do you see Jesus as your only hope? Jesus is truth and grace. In Christ Jesus the focus is not on sinning less, it’s living out of who God says you are and in doing so the miracle is you will sin less.

Who is Jesus Not? Another toll booth.  (4/8/15)

Jesus in not just another gate of many gates you pay in some way to get through. He is the way and no amount of payment from us is enough. He is the payment in full sufficient. He is the way, the resurrection and the life. He is not a thief and swindler but the true Gate.

Think about this:
One of the biggest misconceptions about Jesus is that He must be constantly displeased with us for how much we sin. In a survey where Christians were asked “What do you think God thinks about when He thinks about you?” the number one answer was disappointed. Why is this? There is something powerful that happens when we discover who Jesus really is; we learn that with Him we can be who we really are. God wants us to see Him for who He is and trust Him, then by trusting Him we will trust what He says about us, and when we trust what He says about us we can mature in that truth and live out of who we are meant to be. It’s no longer trying to be what we could never be on our own or trying to live up to a standard, it’s living out of all that is possible because of what Jesus has already accomplished on our behalf. We live in a world of performance where results are based on our actions and so we transfer that over to our relationship with Christ. We think we need to try in our strength to be holy and righteous but because we can’t we are left with a lot of good intentions, discouraged, and full of shame. This often leads us to be discouraged, bitter and abandoning Christ all together. Or it leads us to cover up, put on a mask, and act as if we have it all together. We are afraid of being truly known but it is also what we truly want. What if in Christ Jesus we are known, completely loved, and by our trust in His complete work on the cross and amazing grace we are righteous? This is the truth of knowing who Jesus is and believing. In trusting Him, His unrelenting love and presence, we are righteous and mature in that truth. Trust is the key. Think about your relationship with your kids, how does there understanding of who you are effect their trust? When they trust your love and support they grow in it.

One of the greatest conversations you can have with your children is who Jesus is to you.  Make time to talk regularly with your kids about what your relationship with Jesus means to you and ask them the same. Describe to them how you are trusting in Christ’s grace daily to grow in your relationship with Him.  Talk about how you can encourage one another to know Christ better.

Series: NO LIMITS (Feb. 18th - March 4th)

We’re Teaching This:

When you were little, what did you dream about becoming? An astronaut? A ballerina? A professional wrestler? Whatever it was, chances are it was something that you felt was important. Something big.  That’s the thing about little kids— they dream big because no one has told them that they can’t do something yet. They literally have no limits. But as we grow up we start to see the areas we lack. We’re not the most popular, influential or talented. And eventually we start to wonder if we can ever do or be anything significant. That’s exactly what happened to a guy named Moses. With a tough past and not many real skills, he had no reason to believe that his life would be used do anything extraordinary. But after a few encounters with God, Moses’ perspective changed completely. He found that with God, there is no limit to what you can do.

Session 1 Summary: Talking Trees (2/18)

So, what would happen if God showed up and talked to you—out loud? What would you want Him to say? What would you not want Him to talk about? Now imagine this: what if God showed up and told you that your influence is unlimited? That the impact of your life can and will extend farther than you ever dreamed? Would you be scared? Would you want to run away? Would you have a ton of questions? Absolutely! And that’s what happened to Moses. He probably didn’t think of himself as a guy that anyone would pay attention to, as anyone of real influence, but God saw something in Moses that he didn’t see in himself—the potential to lead. And as we take a closer look at his story, we find that sometimes the only step we need to worry about is the very first one.
Session 2 Summary: Great Expectations (2/25)
Do you ever feel like everyone expects too much of you? Like the pressure of it all is just too much and it makes you feel like you shouldn’t even try? Or maybe you feel like no one expects much of you. No one pushes you or believes in you. Either way, facing the expectations of others can feel paralyzing. And, in that way, we have a lot in common with Moses. God had given him a task that felt way outside the limits of his ability, way outside of anything he could do on his own. Moses felt underprepared and overwhelmed. He was ready to quit. But in his most anxious and fear-filled moment, God said something to Moses—one phrase—that changed the way he saw himself and everything around him. And it has the power to do the same for us!
Session 3 Summary: Let the Countdown Begin (3/4)
So much can happen in just one minute, one hour, or one day. Think about it. How many times have you watched a football game that came down to the last play in the last minute of the game? Have you ever been late to a movie and missed a crucial opening scene? Minutes can change everything! The truth is, time is valuable but we don’t always treat it that way. As students, it’s easy to feel like we have all the time in the world. And so we waste it—a lot of it. But what would you do if you knew your days were numbered? What would you change if you knew your time was limited? The truth is, our time is limited. We’ll never have more than we do right now. So, if we want to make wise decisions, to make the most of our time, we must learn to number our days.

 

Think About This:
Do you ever wonder if you’re that parent? You know the one. The imaginary bar determining your success as a parent is always just out of reach. Or maybe you worry about over-parenting. You know you should probably back off a little bit—but you can’t help but always push, expect, encourage the best from your student. The truth is, parents usually are not satisfied with how they’re parenting—whether that is too much, too little, or a strange combination of both. And, every student is different—so it’s hard to gauge whether we are pushing them to succeed or pushing them to the brink of a breakdown. At some point or another, most of us wonder whether we expect too much or too little.  
Research seems to suggest that, knowingly or unknowingly, most of us err on the side of too much pressure.  In the Pew Research article, Parental Pressure on Students, authors Richard Wike and Juliana Horowitz ask, Have American parents become too pushy about their kids’ education? Many experts seem to think so, judging from several new books by journalists and psychologists that bemoan the growing pressure students feel to do well in school. But at least one group of non-experts — the American public — begs to differ. According to a Pew Global Attitudes survey, most Americans think parents are not pushing their children hard enough.

In other words, while most of us think we aren’t expecting enough out of our students, researchers and experts feel our expectations may be a little too high. So what exactly are we supposed to do?

 Visit tomorrow but live in today. Especially with high school students, it’s easy to let most of our conversations drift toward what happens next. Decisions about classes, study habits, dating, and extra-curriculars lure us towards focusing on the future. And sure, college is coming, but our student isn’t there yet. For them, it can be overwhelming to feel like they have to have all of the answers about what’s next while still juggling the expectations they feel today. That doesn’t mean we should never talk about future goals, but don’t let it take up all of your conversational space. Be present in their present.

Believe the best —and say so. Sometimes our students will win in a certain situation and sometimes they’ll lose. Sometimes their choices will make us proud and other times they’ll make us cringe. Most students have a tendency to confuse our feelings about their actions with our feelings about them. But in every situation, communicate your belief in your student. Their performance, their behavior, their attitudes don’t diminish their value. They’re significant. Valuable. Worthwhile. Don’t ever miss a chance to tell them so. Consider making an extra effort to communicate that you believe good things about them regardless of how they perform at school or on the athletic field. Try saying something like this, “I wish you hadn’t cheated on your test and there will definitely be some consequences, but I don’t believe this is in your character. I know you’re an honest person and next time I really think you’ll study harder to make the grade.”

 

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Series: OBSESSED (Jan. 28th - Feb. 11th)

We’re Teaching This:

What are you obsessed with right now? Is it your favorite television show? A certain fashion trend? A band? A sport you play? We use the word obsessed a lot. Anything we really enjoy can become our obsession-of-the-moment. And dating definitely falls into that category. For some of us, we’re obsessed with a certain guy or girl we’d like to go out with. Or, we’re obsessed with the person we are currently dating—wanting to spend every minute with them. Or for a huge number of us, we don’t have a crush, but we are obsessed with the idea of dating—we wish we had someone to text with all day and night. No matter what your current relationship status, chances are you spend a lot of time thinking about, talking about, and dreaming about dating. And believe it or not, the Bible has a lot to say about it as well. In this series, we’re going to look at three key passages from Scripture that give us some clues how to enjoy the crazy world of dating without losing our minds.

Session 1 Summary: Hey There Delilah (1/28)Few things are more thrilling than a new crush or a new relationship. It’s fun to get caught up in sharing the excitement of a new love interest. But we’ve all known someone who has taken the obsession with a new relationship a little too far. Maybe they stopped making good decisions. Or maybe they morphed into a person who isn’t really them, but who their current obsession would like them to be. The truth is, sometimes when people start dating, they stop thinking. Since all of our brain-space is taken up by our obsession with a guy or girl, it’s easier to just put our minds on auto-pilot and let our emotions lead the way. That’s exactly what happened to a guy named Samson in the Bible. And it got him in all kinds of trouble. Through Samson’s story, we see that dating can be great, but thinking is always better. Always.

Session 2 Summary: Honey Bee (2/4)
When you were a kid, did you ever get to pig out on Halloween candy? Or go to a sleepover where there was unlimited soda and Doritos? If so, you know how awesome it was until you had just a little bit too much. Maybe your stomach took a turn for the worst and you spent the rest of the night wondering how something so good could make you feel so bad. The same thing can happen when it comes to dating.  It’s fun. It’s sweet. And we can be tempted to over-indulge—to let it take over our thoughts, our friendships, and our free time. We become so obsessed with one part of our lives that we end up missing out on the others. While dating really is a fun, the wise words of Proverbs teaches that too much of a good thing may not be so good after all.
Session 3 Summary: (Rip Off) (2/11)
God created sex to be a gift to us. It was meant to be beautiful and intimate between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, sin came into the picture and sex has been distorted and changed into something far less than Biblical. We see this distortion played out in the abundance of pornography that is available and the vast numbers of teenagers who are exposed to it by the time they leave high school. Pornography can be addictive and has lasting negative effects on relationships.  In this lesson, the boys and girls will be separated to cultivate honest discussions on pornography and how we deal with the issues it brings up. We will discuss God’s grace and why He doesn’t want us to hide our sin in shame which only allows it to grow.  Students will leave with an understanding of God’s design for sex, the dangers of pornography use, and practical ways to protect themselves from succumbing to temptation.

Think About This:

We can probably all remember the go-to lines our parents used to say to us comparing life from when they were growing up to our lives growing up. And we’ve probably cringed when we heard ourselves saying those same lines to our own kids. Without even trying very hard, we’ve become a lot like our parents. And maybe nothing looks more different in our generation compared to theirs than relationships with the opposite sex. What has always been complicated now feels entirely mystifying. The terms for dating and the cultural standards are different. What you may expect for your teenagers in your family may be different than what other families expect. In fact, your expectations and guidelines may vary with each of your kids. Thankfully, the most important thing for you to do, has little to do with the cultural whims of the day, the current relationship status of your kids, or even whether you’ve had the chance to talk about it with your students before.

When it comes to your role in the relationships your kids have in the dating realm, your first step is to fill their tank.

 Students (and children, and adults, for that matter) tend to make their worst mistakes out of a place of insecurity. It’s not a conscious decision, but when someone feels insecure, they’ll do just about anything to feel otherwise. In her TED talk, author and researcher Brené Brown says, “the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.” Meaning, every child comes pre-built with a tank made for love and belonging. So, if you work hard now to make sure your students believe beyond any doubt they are loved and they fit in your family, there is less chance they will look elsewhere for the affirmation and acceptance they are wired to experience. No, this won’t provide them with an invincible shield of armor that fights off every potential dating pitfall. But it offers a solid base your kids can build on—an anchor that grounds them when relationships change. And when they know they have what they need at home, they won’t be as desperate to find it somewhere else.

Try This

While words are powerful, they’re only worth something if they’re believed. And belief comes from hearing messages and seeing actions that support one another. We know from our own experience that someone whose behavior and words match up is far more believable than someone whose actions contradict what they say.
Try choosing one of the messages below that you feel most strongly about your student believing.

1. You are accepted. You fit in this family just the way you are.
2. You matter. You are an important person.
3. You are better than you think. You’re more talented, more intelligent, and more valuable than culture gives you credit for being.

Now, think of one way action you can do this week to reinforce that belief for your student?

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Series: CATCHING FIRE (January 7th - January 21st)

We’re Teaching This:

When you were a little kid, did you ever try to light something on fire using a magnifying glass? Did you love sitting around a campfire? Or dream about the day when you’d be old enough to light the fireworks yourself? It seems there’s something in all of us that is fascinated by the power of fire. But along with that power comes a lot of responsibility. Depending on how it is used, fire has the power to make our lives better or to destroy everything we care about. But flames aren’t the only things with that kind of power. The Bible teaches that our words, our comments, and our conversations, can have a lot in common with fire. We’ve all seen how words used recklessly can quickly get out of control and leave everything a charred mess. But imagine what would be possible if we began using the power in our words for something good and beautiful instead? What if instead of using our words to destroy, we used them to build something amazing?

Session 1 Summary: Out of Control (1/7)

Have you ever seen a fire get out of control? It can be really scary. One minute you’re enjoying the smell of a candle. The next, you’re watching flames climb the drapes.  One second you’re lighting a tiny campfire in your backyard. The next, you’re explaining to your dad why all the grass is gone. While the initial spark always seems small and weak, a careless mishap can catch fire and spread faster than we ever imagined.  In the New Testament, James, Jesus’ brother, teaches that our conversations work the same way. Words that seem minor and insignificant to us can spread like wildfire, doing more damage than we ever intended and taking our lives in a direction we never meant to go. But James gives us insight on how to take control of the words we speak and determine whether we use our speech to cause harm or to do good.

Session 2 Summary: (1/14)

You can’t beat a good fireworks show. One little spark, one little match, and the whole sky lights up. When you look at the tiny boxes fireworks come in, it’s hard to imagine what they can become and how little a spark it takes to make them explode into something mind-blowing. Our words work that way too. We can’t always see the power of a single compliment. And, let’s be honest, sometimes saying nice things can feel awkward. But as we take a closer look at a Proverb from King Solomon—a man known for his wisdom— we see that those positive words may be one of the most powerful tools we have—in the lives of others and in our own lives. Just as careless words have the power to destroy, words well spoken have the power to heal. 

Session 3 Summary: (1/21)

Many of us know the power of words all too well. Words someone said (or didn’t say) to us have left us angry and bitter and our hearts are still a little charred. Sure, it’s important to be careful with the words you control, but what do you do when you’re the one who has been hurt? The Apostle Paul knew that part of having relationships with others is the possibility of getting burned. In his letter to the church as Ephesus, he reminds us that there is only one way to move past hurt and begin to really live. It won’t come naturally, but if we’re willing to do the hard work of forgiving, we just may find that we’re healthier and happier, after the fire, than we ever were before.

Think About This:

Have you ever noticed how sometimes one little thing going wrong can ruin your entire day? Or maybe you’ve noticed the opposite. One small gesture, one kind word, one solid compliment can turn a rotten day into a good one.

In their book, How Full Is Your Bucket, Donald Clifton and Tom Rath talk about how our daily interactions with people have the power to shape our lives—for better or for worse.  They say that we all have a bucket and everything negative done to us, and everything negative we do to others works to empty our bucket—poisoning our outlook. At the same time, every positive interaction that we give or receive fills our buckets and improves the way we view the world.These two authors believe that the daily effort made to fill our buckets (by choosing positive words and actions) could potentially determine a direction for our lives and the lives of those around us.

 Whether you buy into this idea completely or not, it’s hard to argue with the power of positivity when you see it in action. And what if they are on to something? What if becoming more intentional about making optimistic choices does intensely impact the relationships we have with those closest to us? Or what if it actually does impact our productivity at work and at home? Would you be willing to try filling your bucket (and consequently your student’s bucket) with positive words and actions this week? Make it an experiment. Maybe, it will impact the quality of your day. Maybe it will improve the emotional climate of your home.

 Maybe it won’t.

 But why not try? What’s the worst that could happen?

 Try This

For whatever reason, the people that mean the most to us are often the ones we have the hardest time encouraging. This week, try working to change that.

This week, try telling your student just how proud of them you really are.
Choose the time of day: Maybe it’s best to talk to them in the morning. Maybe after school. Maybe in the car. Maybe before bed.
Choose the method: You can send a text, write a note they’ll find in their backpack, or say it to their face.

Whatever you decide to do, simply make the effort this week to fill your student’s bucket—and when you do, you just may be surprised at how full your own gets in return.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.